You were wearing a sombrero. And a crown. And told me to use the nerf gun to protect your room from the cat. You don't have a cat.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
So how many licks to the face does it take to get kicked out of the bar?
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
I just got a nosebleed on a date at the cheesecake factory...
just run out of the bathroom with blood gushing down your face and scream "ITS IN THE CHEESECAKE!!!!!"
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
You were having sex very loudly, so I felt it necessary to blast the Thong Song, bust out the trusty old airhorn and walk in on you. MY BAD.
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
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