Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
i just saw an asian skipping down the street and it made me think of you
Woke up with feathers in my hair. at work. still drunk. sooo awkward.
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
remember earlier when I said I was over sex with random boys? take it back take it back take it back
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
I'm just gonna go nail your roommate after we break up anyway.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
found a half eaten roll befind my toilet today. my birthday just keeps popping up.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
I walked out and he was covered in jelly, slithering around the floor. I don't know how to process that.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
