the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
Do you think most people who work at an airport Chili's can pin point where their lives went wrong?
Ryan just walked out of his frat house with a case of beer, a 6 dollar bottle of vodka, and a pillow. He's good to go.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
She asked if you knew her boyfriend, and you responded that you "think you gave him head once" and then hiccupped.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
But I just had this pork pâté. It was dick grabbing.
Sorry about flashing you in front of your mom.
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Have you actually looked at the corn flakes box? I don't think the rooster has a soul.
Randomize
