I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
i was born a porn star she said
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I do regret it. But I can't unfuck her
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
i just saw you make out with a girl with facial hair...just thought i would document that in case you forgot
I had to jump out of her car while it was moving enough said
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
No more Raisinettes before sex. That's what happened. I just put it together
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Randomize
