My 12 y/o god son's bandmate just asked me to their school dance. Still he's a better catch than the last one...
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
Semen is not good for contacts.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
I just tried to make cleaning gasoline off your shoes with toilet paper in the Chemistry Building bathroom look normal. I failed.
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
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