I must be too annoying 4 u.
someone threw a dead crab at me
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He said I was like bonnie and clyde all rolled into one but twice as trashy and 75% less clothes...
He obviously understands you completely.
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
Before he comes over remember the house standards. Ask yourself "will he stalk my sister or myself in the future?". If the answer is yes, then no, he isn't allowed.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
either i huffed spraypaint or ate out that makeup artist. you decide.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
I just want you to know you're the worst sister ever.
If this is about me and your ex, it's not my fault she doesn't like men.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
Randomize
