Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Dude, I totally just made my launch phrase on my new phone "Wingardium Leviosa" so that when people try it and it doesn't work I can say, "It's leveeOHsa, not leveeoh-SA."
So I bought that bathing suit yesterday and got buyers remorse so I returned it today and then stole it. Win win.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Randomize
