Sex on bubble wrap = best decision ever.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
she was stripping to whiskey lullaby. most depressed boner.
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
I feel like this has turned into my work. But if I get paid sitting under a desk, that's perfectly fine with me.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So I have to masturbate in a hospital. I wonder what kind of porn they have.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
The bar tender had his entire hand down your asscrack.
I forgot about that. I was in MULTIPLE dimensions.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
She said she didn't care that I was gay and wants to ride the fucking rainbow
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