It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
His whole family saw that I had cum in my hair once they turned on the blacklight at the bowling alley. You should have seen his mother's face.
Damn it, I know in the morning I'm going to regret eating out of the trash...
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
he said i give him, and i quote, "emotional blue balls"
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
What a dumb baby whore.
Ok! I picked up an anti-celebratory bottle of champagne on the way to dinner for her going to rehab. That's how I feel about this...
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
he had DANDRUFF in his PUBES. 0/10 would not blow again.
Dude she is fucking shit up. Her baby would be proud
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