is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
she met some random, took his vcard, peed in his bed, left, and then requested him as her boyfriend on facebook
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
Cool, so I just walked in on my grandfather checking his prostate in the kitchen.
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
he broke up with her mid blow job, and somehow convinced her to finish. I want his life
Yep. Just threw myself a bachelorette party with my coworkers penis before I re-enter the holy order of monogomous relationships.
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
Btw, if I didn't have 3 limbs in restraints and my free hand offing myself with the pocket rocket, I would have snap chatted you. Next time.
And tan into my neighbor in the elevator. She was going to the gym. I was covered in mascara and dog hair eating a hash brown
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Randomize
