saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found the gloves and lightbulb I stole. Did you pee on a ATM inside a bank?
Seriously, I'm making a calendar and marking off the days with little penis's
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
You don't know reunion panic until you've exfoliated your butt cheeks.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I wrote a pretty good eulogy, too. Motherfucker pastor had no sense of comedic timing.
so then the cop took one last hit off our blunt and then drove off in his car and we just all stood there thinking, yea... that just happened...
he's like the highest ranking tongue wizard i know.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
