Where'd you guys get the alcohol from?
Oh. Some homeless guy we picked up from I-70. He bought us $400 worth of alcohol in exchange for a shower.
...... wtf.
then they caught me trying to hide the turtle in the fridge
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
Just saw a girl duct tape a cigarette back together..I feel like my life is shambles for being present for this
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
a large sweaty girl i dont know is sleeping in my bed. A scotish man and a small child looking dude are on the couches im on the floor sleeping and im ok with it
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Your shit was massive.
I'm not 100% sure how to respond to that.
If you were in a "who has the massivest shit contest", you'd win by a landslide.
Randomize
