everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
Thanks for the menagerie of condoms on my desk
It's the use of SAT words like that which make me want to use them on you
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
Did you really just text me at 6:35 in the morning asking where the condoms were? I moved out a year ago.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
Got head last night. Had the 3D glasses on the whole time.
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
I bit my tongue so hard I left a deep imprint. Fuck you tongue, stop getting in the way of food.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
His face matches his life choices. Both are train wrecks.
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