Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Is there any way to un-invite somebody to a wedding? I just checked out the other family, and I can't have a cockblock there.
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
I left you pizza on the porch. I didn't want to wake you, if you were passed out on the bathroom floor again. Sorry if it's cold.
Y'know, "Class cancelled because Professor is stuck in Mexico," is not something I expected in college. Let alone, "Professor is stuck in Mexico, AGAIN."
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
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