i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
okay serious question, the water is shut off in your house, do you attempt and use the clean toilet water for your new bong?
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
i used baking grease as lip gloss
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
I'm not a creep or anything, just a lost soul looking for a good lay
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
Sometimes he has weird facial hair...Basically he has a penis... that's what he's got going for him.
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
Rule #36, branched off rule 4: Dave stays on a leash in crazy settings. It keeps him good and gets you laid.
So essentially he's like a puppy you can bring to a bar? Retractable leash or chain then?
Sooooooo, can scratch getting a pelvic exam by a man dressed as Woody from Toy Story off my list.
You need to write an essay about this experience.
He was even wearing the hat.
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