this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
He dated a girl who could do the damn splits on his dick like how do you compete with that
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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