one two three fourrrrnication!
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
we saw a llama on the side of the road. That's when we knew everything was going to be alright.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
I need to pack up my vagina and leave. We only do bad things together.
I should have made a run for it. Seriously who calls the cops on themselves and goes to jail. ...on a Monday.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize