I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
New boss looks like john cusack in a collar. Hot. Why do i always want to have sex with priests?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
I wasn't half as drunk as u but u were saying u were a "worm" and u tried to slither out of my grasp
How bad is it I'm looking at his cock while waiting to see my therapist?
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
I woke up to a shattered My Little Pony garbage pail, a black eye I don't know how I got and no one will look me in the face. Fuck tequila.
Note to self: Never spend $8 on a liter of rum again
Okay, tomorrow we'll have a day of life-sorting and plasma-selling.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Well he waved at me as he was leaving so he def noticed the staring, and by staring i mean blatant eye fucking from across the bar..
Randomize
