I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
She was about to go down when you guys iced me. Thanks bro
West Wing DVD drinking game: drink whenever they waqlk around a lot. I LOVE POLITICS SO MUCH
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Was it fun? The night started with home made Jager and ended in him falling out of a tree with a pocket full of house numbers...you tell me.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I also fell asleep on the side of a tree so like I hit my lowest point there but it was a good time
Not as bad as when you were sitting in the pond getting fed water
Oh and people at work think i got knocked up so my gay roomie is claiming it as his lol
While all of the skanky girls from the crowd got on stage we screamed fair game and scoped out all their boyfriends, she made out with 2, this is what we call taking advantage of the situation
Ooooh no. Jesus take the wheel, or Moses. SOMEBODY TAKE THE WHEEL
Randomize
