apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
Who wears a wallet chain?!
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
come home now. i got a twizzler tangled in my hair again
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
...Just between you and me I just did Olympic grade ribbon dancing with toilet paper in the bar bathroom.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
