things it involved: vodka, boy parts, possible photos of me on a cell phone. things it did NOT involve last night: my bra, his pants, and sobriety.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
And all you did was hit on me and do things "for America", so you weren't judged heavily
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Yah. I'm gonna lay you down and feed you grapes, except I'm gonna replace grapes for my balls
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
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