I was about to buy asher roth's album and then i realized he was a ginger. can't support
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
He noticed my new Lipstick so later tonight it's going to be on his dick.
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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