ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Midnight run for medical supplies ended several hours later with a lapdance to the Braveheart soundtrack.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
Is it mean to convince my old booty call she used me for sex so I can bang her again before I leave for Denver?
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
She just texted me apologizing for taking selfies on my phone then asked me to send them to her
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
Randomize
