I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
Annihilated within 20 minutes of arriving on Saturday, proceeded to hook up with him half a dozen times/almost have sex in the shed. Later on I text his boyfriend letting him know he's okay and that he's asleep next to me. If I could parlay this skill into a vital component of national security I'd be the Jack Bauer of homewrecking. Diner later?
my drunk step mom just informed me my dad likes reverse cowgirl. Please god kill me.
Remember, sex is not sex til both people cross the finish line. Until then, it is just a favor.
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
Did you write your name in the dust on our toilet tank?
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
