ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
I run into you far too many times while completely stoned and/or drunk for this not to be fate. It's like god is telling you to fuck me.
It has been happening a lot lately.
I have tan lines from my nipple rings.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
Why do we always have to be the people who get blamed for animal intoxication incidents?
I threw up all of my purple drank and thats really important
Randomize
