Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
Watching the awkward tinder date at the table next to mine is the most action I've had in months, so there's that.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
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