worst experience of my life. her nipples were sick. kinda like a venn diagram
Buhtt sex?
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I told him I was very thankful for what his country has done to my vagina and walked away.
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
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