I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
Why do I have the 4 of hearts in my bra?
Haha we got sick of drinking on 4 is for whores so we stole the cards...I woke up with three of them in mine
drunken problem solving at its finest
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
Randomize
