is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
my boss made my mugshot into an 'employee of the month' poster.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
He tricked me into going on a double date with him, I don't like that he's not using me for just sex anymore
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Breaking into his house to steal the sheets I'd drunk pissed on before he got home was not how I wanted to be spending spring break
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
I'm only bisexual one week out of the month. Nothing like ovulation hormones to make the genders of my hookups seem completely irrelevant.
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
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