I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Which genius got me a voicemail of myself puking?
He's socially awkward. He has a big dick. We've had this talk before, they're socially awkward because they don't leave the house they just sit home and play with it.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
Rough day
Good thing I've started drinking again
We are the rockettes of vaginal bleeding
I feel like my toilet water looks different when outsiders use my bathroom...
Are you high right now?
HOW DID YOU KNOW!
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Randomize
