Theres this tee in the mall and it says all girls just wanna have safe sex. U make me think thats a lie
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
It was like the titanic mixed with those sad puppy commercials mixed with jello shots
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
Tell me I'm the only person you know who could punch someone at the bar, get escorted out, smoke a cig with the cop who almost arrested me AND get the security guy who escorted me out to buy me drinks.
is it too much for me to say that i have a ziplock bag with ice in it in my underwear?
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize