whats up tonight?
Ice cream, wine, and teabags... Not the earl grey kind
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
got a scholarship and a hot psych teacher. hello spring 2010
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
I honestly think the worst part about the night is they just kicked us out of the park and we didn't even get to go into Disneyland Jail
I woke up in my tom cruise outfit with my house key tied to my thong....
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
About to go make a man out of a 24 year old boy
As I shove my ninth taquito of the day into my mouth...
Picking our battles
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
