Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I need some transition time from spring break.. can we day drink between classes this week?
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
You can't start the super bowl without starting a kitchen fire making cole slaw. Its unamerican.
I don't even want to know
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
ALL I WANT FOR CHRISTMAS IS FOR YOU TO SHUT THE FUCK UP FOR ONCE
I know you think you’re ready to graduate but just keep these things in mind: taxes, I get up at 5 AM every morning, I have to buy vegetables when I go grocery shopping, and I can’t wear sweat pants to work. Take that victory lap and enjoy the sweat pants and bar hopping because it goes downhill real quick.
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
