8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
It's been over a month and I still can't find the bra I wore out on new years eve.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
his dick makes me think maybe a monogamous relationship forever is possible.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Randomize
