she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
you started texting yourself and saying they were "divine messages from heaven" then you threw up on stacie's piano.
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Its not that I don't mind giving her as much as my penis as she wants, its the post sex cigarette I have to supply. Shits $9 a pack.
Put a tip jar next to your bed from now on.
Your good ideas are reason #4 we need to live together.
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I think putting on real pants was half my issue with today
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
Just heard a 15 minute program on the radio about how cases of gonorrhea in the throat and rectum are skyrocketing in the US. Almost crashed laughing so hard.
Sorry, who is this??
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
Yep. Just fucked a 34 year old on the football field where we both went to high school. That's a story for the grandkids.
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
