how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
hahahahahahhahahahaha. 26, Dominican, has a funny accent, thinks I'm hot. Tots boning.
I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
Lucky for you, I found your phone.....Not so lucky for you, it was in the bottom of your vomit-filled trashcan.
i just missed the spain goal because i was puking in the bathroom. damn you open bar.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
You were holding onto her boobs like you were adrift at sea and they were the only flotation devices
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
All I’ve had today is sex and water. I think it’s time for tacos.
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