yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
At a straight bar and poker face just came on...must...resist....urge to gay it up
Why would that come on at a straight bar? I thought they just played Don't Stop Believin and Wonderwall on repeat
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
wouldnt it be awesome if walks of shame were like charity walks...you could get sponsors and shit and donate money to curing STDs or cancer
Go on vacation with her and forget to pack pants. I did that once and it worked like a charm.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
We get an extra hour of sleep. That means we can take an extra shot tonight. Sound logic. Thank you daylight savings.
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
I really have to stop having sex with people I sell drugs to...it feels unprofessional
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
Had sex outside for the third time last night. Mosquito bites all over my ass, and i think i have a rash on my nipples. When will i learn.
Just wait till winter
Randomize
