Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
He told me that he wanted to break up with his girl friend but only after we had sex, only for him to make sure I'm worth it..
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Him showing up yesterday was like a giant ego stroke for my vagina.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
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