Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
Whatever it's Canadian jail, it's not like Guatemala or something. It'll be nice and cushy and they'll probably throw him a big bday party with all his friends and strippers
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
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