whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
Your clothes are in washers 2,3 and 4. I arranged by darks, whites, then frat... I'm not even joking
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
he broke off your car antennae to use as a walking stick before he smoked because he claimed to lack the facial strength needed to open his eyes when he's high
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
just wanted to eat pizza off his dick so he let me and he can never forget it
I literally have anal toys soaking in the bathroom sink and dinner on the stove. If that doesn't scream "domestic goddess", I don't know what the fuck does.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
WHAT THE FUCK DREAM ME
I'M GONNA PUNCH THAT BITCH THE FUCK DID SHE THINK SHE WAS DOIN
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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