I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Just walked by the barren window naked in a family neighborhood. Who needs dignity.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
It's the kinda thing that makes you wanna buy a rainbow flag and fight republicans and kiss girls
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
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