A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
how does Santa get into Hogwarts?
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
there's fuck elsewhere to go, I'll be there with 8 lbs of bronzer on my tits
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
hes fine. but he did fall asleep while tebowing and started snoring
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
All you need for a happy life is Jameson and slippers
So adding to the list of things my boobs can do, sweeping with a broom is apparently a thing.
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