puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
I have a taco in my pocket for later because I am a practical drunk
I love 4am trips to the ER. I feel so responsible for actually making it all the way here.
Fuck you, I'm yelling at a mountain right now
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Being forward is somethimes a problems. Like in sexual deity Kong.
I think you’re losing coherence.
I am
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
I’m mid 4sum and you’re sending me photos of your cat. We had very different evenings.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
