I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
God, you're like boner-b-gone
I heard a loud ass thump and then I saw both dogs coming around the corner.... Without him. I went to check out what happened and the dogs apparently pulled him down onto his face, knocking him out.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
Just took my birth control pill next to the cubicle where we had sex last semester.
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He just stays over and makes naked pancakes in the morning
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
The dude we met that gave us weed sent me a video of his balls covering the sun like a solar eclipse
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
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