Have you learned any life lessons?
I like big butts and I cannot lie.
She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
there is no way i can order from that cashier at in n out after she tried helping me while i was drunkenly puking in their bathroom at 11 am
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
I'm in the city buying alcohol. I just got warned by a homeless man on the street that I shouldn't look so pretty "in these parts"
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Do you think he feels stupid trying to bang girls with his small penis? I'd be embarrassed.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
