Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
I caved and texted him. But it's strictly drug dealing business so it doesn't count.
so i hit rock bottom, god threw me a shovel. i continued to dig.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
Why am I a bad person? You were the one trying to get people to eat tape.
I HAVE stop dating guys for their prescriptions, you have no idea how awkward family dinner was. Thank god for his xanax.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
No I come to this class stoned every week. Except last week when I was drinking in class
So apparently I’m into choking now
I had a dream that I was smoking rasberries out of a bong. THEY WEREN'T EVEN DRIED...
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