I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
We're hooking up, I have a toothbrush at her place, and yet on leaving her apartment a minute ago we said goodbye with a hi five. WTF?
You're upset about this?
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
I spent all day at the mall with her, then she made me actually watch a walk to remember then decided to tell me she was on her period. This one is either really crafty or I am really desperate.
The homeless ppl in LA are great. Theres sum guy that makes all of his clothes out of tighty whitey underwear. He makes bags out of them 2. Presumably 2 hold more underwear.
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
Well I mean enduring a 45 minute conversation about C-sections was worth the 9 jello shots those soccer moms gave me.
I'm really sorry I hooked up with your student on the dance floor..
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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