At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
He said he'd prefer a photo rather than discuss politics, I sent him a snapchat "conservative shorts 4 conservative man". He said "be liberal"
You texted me the words "butt stuff" 53 times in a four hour period last night.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
the sex got boring after the first three hours
holy shit
Randomize
