In regards to your tweet: as its been said on all of those posters on ffffound: keep calm and carry on
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
we sixty- nined on a tennis court.. not even drunk. you say insane. i say creative genius.
He threw me out a window and then threw raw ground beef at us. Normally you'd hate someone for that, but that guy's great.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
And, by “make you dinner” I mean “have lots of sex and multiple orgasms.” So you should probably eat something and before you come over
And hydrate too
Randomize