This tent reeks of fear and sangria
work has become about six times more interesting since i started fucking my boss.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
Randomize
