i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Dude, she introduced me to her best friend form Russia and she was a 10. Her other Russian friend was even hotter. How did communism fail?
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
Today has been like a snow day for your boobs. No rules, just doing whatever they want.
I just made a drug deal 100% through snap chat
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Wasted. And I have 5 pounds of potatoes that I'm responsible for.
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
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