Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
Randomize
