so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
I will probably be peed on at some point today.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
You're a hot mess, you know that?
At least I'm a FUN hot mess. Like a train crash full of pizza, fireworks and glitter.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
Didn't think I'd be dancing with the Power Rangers but here I am
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