yeh she's definitely getting a ham and plan b omelette in the morning
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
but you must be fair and judge his penis by normal penis standards and not let your vision be clouded by the rare gem of a penis you have recently encountered
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
I'm in a waiting room at the hospital - and there's a dude here who is WAY too proud of his urine sample.
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
