White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
My lips are red and swollen. Solid proof that giving head is a viable alternative to lipstick and plumper.
I have bruises on the inside of my thighs from sliding down the stair case...thanks for encouraging that slut show
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
And I would just like to take the time to say my boobs look great today.
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
My relationship: I'm wearing batman panties and a tiara right now trying to get laid and he's doing dishes.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
Randomize
