it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
It's more exciting when they aren't single....and even better when you have to pretend that you just slept with their roommate while trying to do the walk a shame as their girlfriend comes marching into the apt.
Im not the least bit jealous of the life you lead.
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
No, I got those cupcakes fair and square. That homeless man should have known not to underestimate the determination of a stoned chem student.
Today's forecast is horny with strong chance of booty calls. Low of Craigslist cruising, and a high of climaxing in a stranger's bed.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
You know, I'm starting to enjoy brazilians. One day I'm going to make a therapist very very happy.
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
I miss your drunken presence, and strong odor of hard liquor and potent weed.
Randomize
