We didn't go..parents came home with patron wanting to play drinking games --we asked no questions
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
I'm thinking I had intended to send you pics cuz I woke up naked
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
Well I can't message him and be like "hey I was behind you in CVS a month ago and I remembered your last name and DOB and looked you up on fb and added you so wanna hang out"
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
I can't believe that after 9 years of signing things as "BATMAN", the first place to turn it down was the liquor store down the block.
Nice. I like it when Maker's Mark makes decisions for you.
He fucked me on the hood of my car outside his work, and now I'm paranoid that the doggie day care next door might have security cameras.
I think my liver has finally had enough and is going all Ashley-Judd-in-a-Lifetime-movie on me.
Randomize
