I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
During breaking dawn, he leaned over and asked me why she would have to worry about her period since she essentially just married a walking super-absorbant tampon... It was the best way to ruin those movies for me.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I'd say you were a shitshow. Playing floating beer pong in the pool you kept filling other people's cups with pool water and laughing to yourself.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
we're going to the olympic park to run the 100m yeaaaahhh
it's 3am. Nothing could possibly go wrong here.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
You don't know weird until you've had a musical wet dream about your older brother.
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Randomize
