btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
Houston, we have a squirter
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
I mayyyyy have moaned a name that wasn't his
i just passed i guy i once let listen to me masterbate on the phone...nyc is not big enough
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
