The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I just put my retainer in and it tastes like weed
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
Lol, perhaps. But the drinks are so cheap, the music is better, and the bartenders and bouncers all know my name. I can't abandon it, even if it is a gay bar, its still my Nirvana.
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize