Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You are the voice of reason. And I'm bringing wine. Like seriously this is his last chance. Don't touch me once, shame on you.. Don't touch me twice, shame on me
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Your pictures have evolved a lot over the years but I think your angry dick pic phase was one of my favorites
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
The most awkward thing in the morning is seeing your teacher's dick right before you go to his class.
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
he's fucking insane. he's worse than me. is that even possible? I'm only with him because his dick is huge. I need Jesus.
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