barbara walters just said penis...
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
He’s only in town today and our afternoon sex sesh kept getting interrupted by the neighbor’s kid yelling and screaming in the pool
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