i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
when i tried to put the condom on he started screaming about how he didn't want his groceries bagged
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
Im wearing all my glow sticks to bed so i know where my arms are at all times.
Best part? I know that the likelyhood of this turning into an intimate relationship is like 4.25%
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
i actually texted him "nice to see you" but then there was a saved draft "i think about you when i get off." dodged that bullet...
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
He’s basically a sexual superhero. A mild mannered marketing intern by day, but a very horny 22 year old with pornstar stamina at nights!
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