whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
did all my christmas shopping this morning at 4am drunk. never went to sleep. i was walking home drunk last night when i passed a target and saw 3 kids having a dance off. had to join. somehow they convinced me to go shoopping with them. i bought 4 disco balls and a lava lamp.
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
What's the place called?
I searched "county" on google, but....there's a lot of results
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
How did it feel to just observe all the people blacking out usually you're on the other end of things
I felt like I was at the zoo
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
Btw when I was saying "fuck you" I meant it like "be quiet beautiful princess"
What? No, wine isn't my weakness, I just love it.
Randomize