I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
So today I found out that our school is known as the herpes school
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
We just had a sexually tense moment where we both chose the trough the pee. I love gay clubs.
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
I am incapable of maintaining a guy's interest in me. It's like erectile dysfunction but with feelings
In case you're wondering where my head is at right now, it's wishing that I was getting laid and not having a debate about cheese.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
