i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Don't worry that pussy is fresh, I'd brush my teeth with it.
Your cat is quite the conversationalist after some tequila and shrooms
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
He called my boobs fluffy. Part sexy part pilsbury dough boy. Part sexy pilsbury dough boy. I'm so confused. And flattered?
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
Randomize