The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
we're using his nephews tonka truck toy as a cooler for the beer
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
You owe me new eyes. The ones I have are burned with your balls into the back of my eyes. And every time I close them, your balls are right there...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
for real. if he messaged me that i'd have made his penis cower in a corner.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Randomize
