i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I can't believe I cried over a sausage mcmuffin.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Dude. I keep thinking about how I let a man gum my vagina.
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
Randomize
