She thinks she is all that and a bag of skittles but I'm definitely not tasting the rainbow...
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
How can he have such a manly penis and baby hands?!
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
There is a stockpile of mangos and vodka in my backyard and I'm at least 90% sure you had something to do with it.
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize
