The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
we just finished making mockaritas... then we prayed
god you guys know how to party
worst. bachelorette party. ever.
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I'm a full-grown woman and thusly I expect my sphincters to behave themselves.
How I know that I'm single: when I get a save the date for a wedding & I read "& guest" my first thought was does my bottle of Jack Daniels count.
Randomize
