Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
she's a gynecology student. i don't know if my dick's ready for that kind of pressure.
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
Just rolled up to a matinee showing of THE HOBBIT. At the dollar theater. Alone. In sweats. With a fifth of sunnybrook and leftover pizza in a ziplock. There's a dude here in cape with his elderly mother. I'm handling this breakup FIIIIIINE.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Saw two pregnant women at court today and I SWEAR one of them said "we had a threesome with this random guy and he got both of us pregnant."
It wasn't until after we began having sex again the next morning I realized I didn't know his name.
First day of school is awesome. I get to meet my students and figure out which of their mothers I’ I’m going to bang
Randomize
