no you cant smoke seaweed
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
The coffee and champagne are fighting over who gets to absorb the one pancake in my stomach
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
It's a piss down the stairs of the hotel kind of night
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
You tried to pick a fight with a polka band saying that you'd wrap the accordion around their throats
Randomize
