you turned your livingroom into a bong?
you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Who wants to bang the sort of girl you can get with Axe body spray??
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
I have no idea. After the fireworks it all went to shit. Do you know why I woke up with a road sign?
Maybe STDs were invented to keep stupid people from having kids.
Im on the side of I-10 covered in sweat, cookie dough, hollandaise sauce, onion gravy, and ground beef wondering how my life I ended up here
We would be rich. And the whole world would be stoned.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
There's glitter in my speakers, piles of cheezits on the floor, a random Audi in the driveway and a homeless dude napping in a lawn chair in the backyard. Wtf happened last night?
I just got hit on at the bar by a guy who used his mother as a wingman, she was pretty convincing. Only in Stratford.
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
My little brother came home while I was sitting there icing my vagina with a bag of peas. Asshole looks at me, high fives Ryan, then leaves.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
I am coming home with the worst sun burn of my life, two unused condoms, and an unworn slutty dress. Worst. Bachelorette. Party. Ever.
Randomize
