why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
sometimes i wish i had a whole other life to spend on youtube
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I might have beaten my fastest all time record going from "I really really like this girl" to "fuck that bitch"
She's not a foreskin expert like you
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I just want to hook up with Ed Sheeran. Why does it have to be so difficult?
Auto correct isn't even working for how drunk you are
Then it hit me - his penis wasn't a shiny new toy anymore and I wanted a new one.
Randomize
