ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
my brother walked in while we were fucking, silently took my bong from my closet, saluted us and walked out.
Last night he tried to put me in their garbage can and then sprayed me with a fire extinguisher in their kitchen...that house is always interesting
you inspire me to be a worse person
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
I don't need no damn man when I have the cock-a-nator 2000.
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
Randomize
