I may just buy something cuz i have 6 weddings in the next year and a half.
Holy shittt I don't even have a bf
Goddamnit I hate your level headedness
When we were fucking i started barking and growling at her.. you shoulda seen her face
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
he told me that he only likes small dogs. I should have known he was going to end up being little bitch.
I really need to curb my attractions to blondes with tattoo sleeves, firearms and alcoholism
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
Randomize