is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just got a citation from campus security for an "accordion disturbance."
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
don't you miss freshman year when you could get away with "but i've never given a bj before..."
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
I have a spoon shaped bruise on my ass...
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
There's a girl in the bathroom crying about something having to do with cream cheese.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
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