Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
is it possible for your nipples to fall off? if so mine might. they hurt so bad...
Matt just took me to visit my puke stain from 2 weeks ago at the train station...I'm fucking impressive
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
In a cab. Towels everywhere. Confused.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
One day I'm gonna have to send my roommate a "sorry I got high and forgot you were in the room and masturbated next to you" fruit basket
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
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