Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
All I have in my fridge is chocolate cake, pizza, spicy mayo sauce, beer, and weed. I love college
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I just got woken up by some Christians who wanted to talk about the bible. ways to make a hangover even worse for a thousand trebek
My penis has like 3 people bidding on it
just woke up with nickles taped to my body. theres like a dollar worth.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
Randomize
