you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
he had a dikembe mutombo jersey on, was swatting peoples drinks out of their hand and wagging his finger in their face everytime he did it.
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
At Walgreens. I'm getting condoms and a bottle of water so that I'm not "just getting condoms". I don't think I'm fooling anyone though.
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Why is there a chocalet milkshake outside our front door?
Alcohol
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
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