Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
I went back up to the apartment to get her phone and when I came back she was peeing on the sidewalk
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
somebody should make me the poster child for not drinking everclear..
alright well Taco Bell Closes at 12 so you better pray to god she's asleep by then or I'm running in your house butt ass naked with a bag of tacos
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
But I think I successfully seduced her with my alias.
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
